I had finally been emerging from what felt like the desert season of my life. The change of landscape meant a change in perspective and what should have been a positive shift I had slowly allowed to drown out largely because of my personality and tendencies - those that were my companion in the desert*, those that God had been working out in my life.

I'm constantly reminded of the words of Priscilla Shirer in her Gideon study, "when you're not who you used to be, you have no business going where you used to go."

(The desert though seemingly a dry and barren place is actually a place of progress ... it means stepping out from the place of bondage - Egypt ... and journeying on towards the promise.) It's moving forward; even when it doesn't feel like it.

Even if I was not willing to go back, enough of a shift in my journey (my thinking, my perspective) would take me off course from where God was wanting to bring me. Just a slight degree of miscalculation can completely derail the destination. So watching the influences we allow in our lives is crucial - even if they are our own influence...

There will always be distractions ... noise; but we can control the volume of it in our lives.

I'm thankful I noticed the waters rising before I drowned.

In a promo email I received several months ago, Hillary Rushford from Dean Street Society shared this video on hope and healing which included many sentiments I could relate to:

But it was this statement on floating that has stuck with me:
"Grace is like floating. And the fascinating thing about floating is that if you work for it it doesn't work. If you try to muscle your way into staying on top of the water you're actually just treading water which is exhausting and completely unsustainable. In order to actually float you have to trust that 'this living water has got me.' So that posture of floating allows you to go further and faster with more ease. ...Rest in this living water." - Dean Street Society - Personal Stylist, Hilary Rushford

With the realization of what was happening in my heart and mind I gratefully welcomed a break from social media. While I have found a lot of great inspiration and connection there, I was realizing that I also welcoming comparison ... again. I was trying to realize the dreams God has placed in me, but the "noise" of influence was muddying the picture. With that, I stepped away and am in a season of stilling myself. Controlling the noise ...
And perfectly enough, the words of this song have become my anthem in this season. 

"I'm caught up in Your presence
I just want to sit here at Your feet
I'm caught up in this holy moment
Oh, I'm not here for blessings
I never want to leave Jesus, You don't owe me anything

More than anything that You can do, I just want You "

God, I just NEED You!!!


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